Should I Stay? A One-Step Litmus Test...

Should I Stay?  That question is first and foremost in a woman’s mind when she finally seeks help.  She has struggled with that question and all that goes along with it (how will I provide for myself and my children, how can I be sure it’s time to leave, how do I know if it’s safe to stay, am I wrong to believe it’s time to pursue divorce, and will God and my church understand?) 

The answer is black and white; it is so simple it will sound too easy.  However, the litmus test IS simple and it IS black and white.  It is the answer to this question:  Will your husband agree to go to counseling?  If the answer is “No” you have your answer as to whether you should stay. 

We add to it because of our desire to save our marriage and family. We put qualifications and “tests” on our husbands and ourselves.  We tell ourselves we can change him by our character and by being a godly, loving wife.  We say if he will just do this and not do that, there will be hope and we will continue to try. 

The truth is if he won’t participate in the work that needs to be done to save your marriage by going to counseling; there will not be any positive change and he has no commitment to your marriage or partnership.  That is probably blatantly evident in other areas like infidelity, lack of financial support, and continued abuse.