Your children are 7 times more likely to be sexually molested or raped if you remarry or live with a man who is unrelated to them. If no one told you this; you wouldn’t know. Many children bear lifelong damage and have their lives effectively ruined by their mom’s new boyfriend or husband.
We are only responsible for what we know. Statistics show that a staggering half of children living with unrelated males are sexually abused. They are seven times more likely to be molested than they would be if you remain single, and are careful about where they go and who has alone time with them.
I realize there are exceptions to this and there may be someone reading this right now who had a wonderful stepfather who treated you like their own child. There is a 50/50 chance it will not turn out well and those odds are just too high. That is quite a gamble to take with your children's lives. I am simply trying to save you the heartache of exposing your children (who need healing from the abuse they saw you suffer and the emotional/verbal and/or physical abuse they suffered) to the very real and very high potential for further trauma with the introduction of an unrelated man into the family home.
Your responsibility is to get everyone away from your abusive husband to safety and healing. You must focus on your children—not a man. You owe them a childhood.