Leaving to Protect Your Life. The Truth of Infidelity--Sexually Transmitted Diseases including HIV…You have heard that God hates divorce (He does.) You have heard that you need to forgive and forget and do everything in your power to save your marriage. You have heard man say you cannot divorce—no matter what. The Bible does not, however, say that. The Word, does in fact, give provision for divorce in cases where a man deals treacherously with his wife and has committed adultery.
When it comes to the light that your spouse has been unfaithful, the truth is you NEED to take action to save your life. Your children need a parent and you need to insure they will have one who is healthy and available to raise them. Infidelity requires testing for STD’s (even if you don’t have any symptoms.) Unfortunately, the way most women find out about infidelity is when they are diagnosed with an STD. If your husband has exposed you to an STD through his infidelity when you have been at home and faithful; your husband hates you, he hates himself, and you need a divorce. Ephesians 5:28-29 "So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church.” A man who doesn't love his wife hates his own flesh.
I know how many books there are on forgiveness and healing your marriage. I know how many books there are on how the wife needs to work on the marriage and be a better wife since she may have ‘caused’ the affair. I know how many times you will be told you must forgive. I know you may be accused of being the one who is breaking up your marriage or not trying to save it.
The church is correct to teach forgiveness and healing. However, in this instance, the fact is when a man has broken the sacred bond of marriage by cheating on you; he has broken the bond of marriage. When your husband is violent in your home, abusive and harmful to you and your children instead of protecting you from harm, the covenant bond of marriage has been broken. You are no longer two who have become one. You are not a team. He is willing to bring others, anything attached to them and any disease they carry into your circle. You trust the sacredness and the exclusivity of your marital bed but he is willing (unbeknownst to you) to bring another woman or women into that bond and expose you to disease and potentially death (HIV/AIDS).
He does not care about protecting his own health. He is ruled by his baser human desires and is controlled by those. He is not Spirit-controlled (even if he professes Christianity.) He does NOT love or care about you. Beyond what this information does to your emotions and heart, you simply cannot afford to continue to put your physical life and health in the hands of a man who is untrustworthy.
If your state has legal separation (Florida does not) that might be an appropriate route rather than divorce if he says he wants to get help for his problems and try again. The fact is the onus is NOT on you to forgive him and act as though nothing has happened. The onus is completely on him. He is the one who has broken your marriage bond. Your ‘contract’ is broken and doesn’t exist even if you continue to live together exposing yourself to further harm. Instead, I suggest you need to live separately immediately. If there is to be healing, he would need to work on himself and pursue you all over again and win your heart all over again because what was--no longer exists.