Discernment is our spiritual perception (without judgment) to give us spiritual direction and understanding. We ARE spirit-controlled beings—good or bad. You must, therefore, test your husband’s spirit, so that you will know what you are dealing with and how to safely proceed.
Here is the list of the fruit of the good spirit (those who are of God and filled with the Holy Spirit): Galatians 5:22-23 Amplified Bible (AMP) "But the fruit of the [Holy] Spirit [the work which His presence within accomplishes] is love, joy (gladness), peace, patience (an even temper, forbearance), kindness, goodness (benevolence), faithfulness, gentleness (meekness, humility), self-control (self-restraint, continence). Against such things there is no law [that can bring a charge]." Does your husband exhibit any of the fruit of the good spirit (the Holy Spirit)?
Or, does this chilling list sound more like what you are dealing with? Romans 1:29-32 New King James Version (NKJV): "...being filled with all unrighteousness, sexual immorality, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, evil-mindedness; they are whisperers, backbiters, haters of God, violent, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, undiscerning, untrustworthy, unloving, unforgiving, unmerciful; who, knowing the righteous judgment of God, that those who practice such things are deserving of death, not only do the same but also approve of those who practice them.”
This is critical information. This is the difference between whether there is anything worth saving and you should stay or you are dealing with pure evil; need to resist the devil, and let him flee! This information will save you and your children years of abuse and heartache.