If you have experienced abuse from a parent AND abuse from your husband or significant other, you have experienced trauma in the two of the most important bonding relationships a human being is meant to experience. You will have a bond with these important people in your life, but it will be a traumatic bond formed by great moments and horrible moments. I'm not talking about a normal relationship with ups and downs. I'm talking about experiencing the best day ever one day and a day filled with unspeakable evil, abuse, harm, and trauma the next. This confusion will cause you to either crave love (be needy for someone to love you) and susceptible to the first person who comes along and tells you he is your knight in shining armor; or, to be closed off to love, bitter, and full of hate (which will cause you health and emotional problems and ensure you will NEVER have a loving relationship.)
Although you are indeed a survivor and although Jesus has indeed protected you and kept you alive through all you have been through; you are going to need counseling to recover fully.
You may say, “I have Jesus.” Yes, you do and He will be there to protect and guide you while you are going through your healing process. However, do not ignore your need for help and total healing.