Sometimes It Will Seem That Even the Church Has Sided With the devil Against You…don’t lose heart! God knows the total truth of your situation. He knows your heart and He knows what He has directed you to do. Well-meaning but misguided church friends will say things that will surprise and hurt you. They are just repeating the same things you told yourself over and over again as you talked yourself into staying in the nightmare for just a little longer praying that things would change—“God Hates Divorce" and Ephesians 5:22: "Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands," etc.
I remember having a Restraining Order in place against my husband, being in the midst of going through a divorce and trying to figure everything out, dealing with the aftermath regarding the effect on my children and having a friend who pretended to care but used every opportunity to say things like, “How is he doing with you divorcing him?” What?!!
Christian women are made to feel "less than" because they must divorce for safety. You know and God knows you have prayed and tried to save your marriage. He knows you did not and do not want a divorce. God does hate divorce--He hates the way your husband is abusing his family to cause you to have to leave: "The Lord examines the righteous, but the wicked, those who love violence, [perfect description of an abusive man] he hates with a passion." (Psalm 11:5)
You may be facing leaving and starting over with no financial support from anyone and no money. You are looking for a job, cheap housing, free or cheap counseling for yourself and your children, and stepping out in total blind faith and reliance on God because He told you it’s time to go and you are obeying.
There will be those who say you didn’t try hard enough, pray hard enough or be patient enough. They have not walked one day in your shoes and for that they should be singing the Hallelujah chorus!
As often happens, people take one Bible verse out of context and confusion follows. The abused woman of faith says to herself, “God hates divorce…so I have to stay!” However, the Bible actually says a man should not be unfaithful to his wife or treat her treacherously. He should not be unjust or treat her with violence or cruelty. He (the husband) should not hate and divorce his wife:
NLT- "For I hate divorce!" says the LORD, the God of Israel. "To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty," says the LORD of Heaven's Armies. "So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife."
Holman Christian Standard Bible-“If he hates and divorces [his wife],” says the LORD God of Israel, “he covers his garment with injustice,” says the LORD of Hosts. Therefore, watch yourselves carefully, and do not act treacherously.
God is not cautioning the one who files for divorce (you may have to since an abuser usually does not want to set you free) but the one who causes the separation and destruction of the marriage. Stay in prayer. Listen to His voice and follow His direction.